Sunday, January 31, 2016

AM

When your body is at a loss for sleep, but you still keep fighting on, I'm not sure what that is, that perseverance, but I'm thankful I have it.

If you haven't guessed by now, the lack of sleep has definitely been getting to me. Granted, I've been getting somewhere in the range of 5-1/2 to 7 hours of sleep each night--forcing myself to actually go to bed--but I've lost my luster to do much else on these days. If this is what my next month is going to be like (exhaustion and lethargy) then I'm not so sure I could ever do this again.

Despite his whining, though, I'm incredibly grateful to have a husband who cares enough about me that he'll stay up at 4 a.m. (which is something he does already on the weekends) and take me to work so I don't have to go to the bus stop in the cold. I'm incredibly grateful for the friends who recognized that my body isn't accustomed to what I'm putting it through and just giggle and say, "Go take a nap," if I'm feisty. I'm incredibly grateful for everything these days.

I'm not saying I have clarity in the wake of my exhaustion, but I'm saying that it hasn't hurt, either.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Roaming With Daywalkers



I work 40 hours (y'know, full time adult stuff), four days out of the week. That's 10 hour shifts from 2:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. It's our PM shift. For the next month, that's changing, though. Because of some structural changes with our staff, we needed coverage on the AM shift, so I decided to step up and help. (I'll admit that a part of me is hoping this will earn me brownie points later, but it's not all selfish--our team needs all the help we can get right now, and I owe a member of AM shift for stepping up and joining PM shift for a week some time ago when we needed it.) This means that for four days I've prepped my body by taking ZzzQuil at 7 p.m., passing out around 8 p.m. and waking up at 4-4:30 a.m. No more getting home around 12:50 a.m. and staying up until 3 a.m. for me. My new shift, for at least the rest of February is from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. Have you ever been up at 4 a.m., not because you were still awake but because your alarm just went off, and you were suddenly struck with the sensation that there shouldn't be a 4 a.m.? I don't think there's enough coffee in this world to make me see otherwise. But if there's anything I know about being awake but feeling like you're dead, it's that chugging iced coffee is a sure-fired way to both puke and wake the heck up. So, I guess that's what I'll be doing for the rest of January and February. I have no idea what this means for my routine--writing, exercise, working on projects, reading, etc. I guess we'll find out together. Wish me luck! 

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Timing

I was talking to my friend Lyndsey, and she confided in me that she has a hard time understanding why God would allow some of the things He does to happen to our lives.

That's a question, complaint, fear that I hear from many believers, and a criticism I hear from many non believers. "Well if God was real, why is there cancer? Why is there murder? Why is there 'x'?"

The truth is, this argument is one of which the rebuttal takes faith to grasp, and that's just a matter that many naysayers will have a hard time understanding. You have to have faith in God's timing.

Romans 5:8 (NLT)

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
It's so easy to forget that when God sent Christ to us, He did so to release His hold on the world. Before Jesus' sacrifice, God was a being of wrath--a God who would flood and plague people for their wrongs against Him and others. Jesus served as a living reminder of God's love, not his wrath. Christ was there to be the one to spread his Love, show others what it looks like to live in Him, and have faith in what God has planned for us.

We may not always know of God's plan, but we know if we trust Him, He'll share it with us.

Romans 8:34 (NLT)

34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
Just because something doesn't go our way--whether it be something small like a job interview or class project, or something big (maybe tragic)--it doesn't mean that God isn't always looking out for what's best for us.

We have to believe in His timing, not ours.

Have faith in what He has planned for you, when something doesn't pan out. Don't fall to the fate that it's because He doesn't care--humble yourself and remember that it's because God is constantly watching out for you. Something big is happening in your life. Nothing comes easy, but His Love endures. 

Monday, January 18, 2016

On Reading

Every book I own, I destroy with margin notes--those little pesky scribbles you might find if you pick up a book from a used book store. That's why I often hold onto my books. I don't want to forget what those words meant to me. I want to remember how they passed through me, moved me, enveloped me and overwhelmed me.



I had a friend who innocently Tweeted how she found the love to consume knowledge and information through reading invaluable; she wanted others to explore reading more, as well. For reasons I'm not sure why, someone decided to attack her intentions and assume she meant that reading was the only way to ingest knowledge. As a fan of broadcasts, podcasts and interactive media, like me, she wouldn't dare to say that reading was the only valuable way. Maybe that person just didn't understand what she meant--maybe they were proving her point in that they should spend more time reading to fully grasp her conjugation.

Reading may not be for everyone, but please do not take it for granted if you can read and comprehend the information you're ingesting. It's a skill, not innate. There are so many people on your own street, or in more impoverished countries, where the educational system is failing them and they don't have the ability to grasp what knowledge and life can be found in the written word.

And if you have the chance to share that with someone else, do it.

-----

This month, Goodreads asked me what my yearly goal was, and I said 56. I'm partly ambitious, but really I had just already made a list of books I'd like to finally sit down and read (or finish) and that was how many ended up on that list. If you haven't set a goal for yourself, you can here.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

All Smiles




One day there was sun. Two friends took a stroll and ate food we loved, explored books we haven't explored yet, and relished in the winter chill with smiles.

If winter is getting to you, but there is sun, get out there and walk around. Your body and mind will thank you.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

January Sun




It was actually sunny and 50-degrees here in Washington. In January, people!

I have felt like my sinuses have been stuffed these last few days, and it's been worrying me that I am getting sick. Everyone else is sick at work right now, but I'm not looking to join that trend. When I saw it was sunny outside for the first time in weeks, I knew I wanted to spend my one day off in the middle of the week outside instead of pouting and hugging a bottle of Dayquil nervously.

I got dressed and took a walk through town, and my sinuses opened up immediately.

I went to my favorite doughnut shop, and I got an eggnog doughnut and peppermint mocha (and something for the man). Then I magically ended up in the bookstore, and I have no idea how but ended up with a $1 clearance copy of Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. Seriously, I have no idea how any of this happened. I think I blacked out or something. *wink*

The January sun must have gone to my head. 

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Friendmas

Today we were supposed to get snow, but it happened just north of here instead. I would usually be upset to see the lack of snow in our area, but I was too filled with joy and distracted by the friendship around me.

Today was Friendmas--that beautiful Christmas celebration you spend with just friends. Tripp, Danny, Savannah and I all swapped presents and food while watching part of the first Hobbit and just enjoyed each other's company for a few hours. Danny brought a delicious fruit salad, Savannah made a feta and spinach quiche (and brought some of her coveted coconut and chocolate muffins), I made biscuits and sausage gravy and a breakfast casserole, and we all laughed at how southern it all was--appropriate for us Georgians and Savannah, the Alabamian.

At the end of the night, there were hugs and lots of "I love you"'s, and the lack of snow didn't really matter. I would have taken more photos and pretended to be the convenient and pro blogger that others might be in these moments, but instead I chose to let my phone rest and giggle over Gandalf's crankiness with three nerds instead.

I guess, now that it's over, that means it's time to take down the decorations.