Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Updating You

This week a few things happened.

For one, I started waking up at 10:30 a.m., and I didn't have to be into work at 2:30 p.m. Yes, folks, I am back on my regular PM shift schedule.

I learned a lot of things about my team, the AM shift and who I am professionally and where I want to go during this past month. For example, I took this slot to help out the team, but in the back of my mind I was constantly wondering if it could benefit me and my advancement--making sacrifices and doing well while on this flipped schedule. Would I look that much more impressive among my peers when I want to go for a promotion, etc.? I would like to think so. But while I was thinking all of these positive thoughts, and I had my eye on the prize of a shift lead promotion, it was taken away.

My manager told me that the position I wanted really badly was no longer a viable option due to budget issues within the team. When I heard it explained to me by a few mangers, it all made sense, and I was able to come to terms with it. But I wasn't happy when I first heard it. I had been desperate for a chance at that role since before going to AM for a month was even on the table. Sure, at first I said that I hated that I was making these kinds of sacrifices for the team, just to see the end goal get further and further away, but really I was just tired when my manager told me.

It's hard to feel like you're going to continue to be valued if there isn't a lot of movement in your position or in life, but I had to take a step back and reevaluate why I felt that way.

Advancement in one's career is important, but it's not everything. That sort of pressured momentum is inherit in the culture here at this job--people have tenure at the company, but rarely in their positions. That's just not who I am, and I've got to do what's right for me.

I'm not an unsettled person, and I have never been that way. If I am happy at my job then that is all that matters. Movement is important, but it takes time to go anywhere in a job anywhere else. Just because I'm not a shift lead tomorrow, doesn't mean I won't be one later, or that I won't find another position that intrigues me just as much to move up to when I check my email tomorrow. My dad echoed those thoughts I had during our phone call; while I already knew all of it, sometimes you just need someone else to say it to make it click and make you feel satisfied with that answer.

Now that my AM stint is over, I can definitely say I learned a lot, and I'm happy I did it. I'm sitting next to my PM shift right now, on my lunch break, very happy and grateful to be back, but also keeping in mind the connections I made with the AM shift. There is so much value in what I did that goes beyond if I look "good" when I'm trying to go for some unforeseen promotion later on in this job.

I have also had a lot more time to get back on my eating/exercise schedule and just genuinely feeling better. My body never completely adjusted to shifts at 5:30 a.m. I am able to take care of myself again.

And despite any frustrations any job may have, or just mine, I am genuinely happy to be where I'm at (most days, some days I'd rather take a day off). I hope in the month I was fairly absent you have been filling your days with things that leave you feeling fulfilled and happy. 

3 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear that the position that you wanted was no longer an option, I have had similar struggles in the past. Hang in there, if not at this place, options might open up elsewhere.

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  2. Best of luck with everything!

    www.itsleli.com

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  3. "while I already knew all of it, sometimes you just need someone else to say it to make it click and make you feel satisfied with that answer." Word.
    Especially a parent figure.

    Like Sara said, if not this position, another will come! Hang in there. Sounds like you have figured out a way to reframe it already :) Go you!

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