The closer I get to graduation, the more I have peers, advisers and professors tell me that they are proud of me and that they think I'm ready to enter the world with full force.
This gives me just enough of a confidence boost that my humility does not dwindle, but that I can at least put myself out there without as much as fear as I had before.
But that constant self-doubt keeps pulling me back and I find myself constantly asking: I can't be this good, can I? I have no reason to doubt what the people in my life are saying, and yet I do. It's in my nature and hard to fight it. But God it feels amazing to have people in my life that care. I just have to keep reminding myself I'm worth what they say, and share that love in return.
***I know I've been doing a mixture of informal and formal posts a lot lately, but these are the thoughts that I want out there so other people can relate/not relate and we can have a discussion. I want this blog to do just as much of my music fangirling and creative nonfiction writing as I have in the past, but the more informal posts give me a chance to just talk to people and speak my mind. The further I have to delve into my anxiety with my counselor, the more I start to see in myself. I just want to help folks--whether it's anxiety or anything else. If I don't at least try to reach out and share my thoughts, some people could go thinking they are alone. And as I've said today, you never really are. People are always rooting for you; you just have to be willing to believe it.