Wednesday, September 21, 2011

100 Words: One Year

Last September, we tied ourselves together. One year ago, I met my best friend, and the only man who has ever loved me so deeply and unconditionally.

I finally found a man in whom I could put all of my trust and love--my perfect match.

A few days prior, we drove past a strip-mall when I saw it: the first place we hung out, socially. He was nervous, blushing and scared to chase me away. I was scared and wondering how soon it would end before it could begin--like many regrettable instances in my life.

Our union did not end.

That store is now home to my most precious memory--I cannot pass by without smiling and thanking God for something so beautiful.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Meme: Seven Links

So, I was passed this blogging meme from the always entertaining Bag Lady. I have seen some of my absolute favorite bloggers pass this around, so I feel privileged to get to be part of the game as well.

There are seven topics regarding your personal blog posts, and you must choose one that suits each best. After which, you tag five of your favorite bloggers and make them do the meme as well--do not let the meme die, otherwise, it's not a very good meme.

Here is my list:

One. Your most beautiful post.
At my most inspired, I would probably say one of two posts are beautiful out of all, given the extent of emotion put into the effort of writing them (I wish I could just choose one over the other, but alas, I just cannot): In Every Sense of the Word and The Meaning of Loyalty. Both were written last May, at which point, I had just finished reading an article in Rolling Stone Magazine entitled "The Tao of Robert Downey Jr" by Walter Kirn. For awhile, I was completely obsessed with the article and its author's profound style. One year ago, my blog and I had an interesting relationship: I would give, it would take, and as sporadic as my posts were, their quality was even more unpredictable. I wrote a couple of posts on the passing of my mother, one of which grabbed some interesting attention from some of my favorite bloggers: A Little Time To Think. Though, I do believe my feelings were sincere, and I still hold strong to what was written in those posts, from that point on, if mention of my mother ever did come up, people would focus on it more than the whole content of the piece written. I have always hated grabbing attention from people for tragic occurrences--I am not the first to lose a mother, unfortunately, and I will not be the last. When my posts about my mother passing were getting more attention than the posts on which I spent even more time and effort, I was disheartened and felt a little defeated. Then I read Kirn's article, and I was inspired again. Somewhere, in the middle of that long walk home, I found a muse. So, my writing felt alive again, and just a little later into the month, I had more reason to write, and wrote something of equal quality, in my opinion. I've always been completely in love with those two posts, but mostly the inspiration that gave me those two posts. I still have the article sitting next to me, and I might read it again sometime to get inspired once more (Lord knows I need something these days).

Two. Your Most Popular Post.
Well, there was the time I got Blog of Note and people who don't read me now, read me so they could paste their link everywhere in my comment box (thank you for those who sincerely stuck around); there was the blog post I don't really advertise anymore, but is still an ongoing project, my art project for all of you (which is being delayed due to funds, but has been worked on some); however, aside from those, my most popular post would probably be Small Town Christmas. Technically, The Bigger Picture, has a lot more comments, but it was shortly after I was awarded BON, so I am not entirely sure if I should count that one or not...

Three. Your most controversial post.
I really have no idea if I have written anything controversial... I know my post/forum Words, Words, Words... started a nice discussion once. If I have done anything controversial, by all means, let me know! I have clearly forgotten whatever it was.

Four. Your most helpful post.
[Insert your own idea?]

Five. A post whose success surprised you.
That would probably be Chance Encounters. I love that particular post, but typically posts with which I love, get very little attention relative to what I hope upon hitting that little orange "Publish Post" button. The fact that so many bloggers and regular readers bothered to even leave a comment was what surprised me. I have written posts before, expecting a lot of traffic and getting nothing--it's become more frequent as of late, actually.

Six. A post you feel didn’t get the attention it deserved.
Explicit Campus is not my absolute favorite, but I did rather enjoy writing that particular piece. I remember sitting in front of one of the computers on campus, at peace with my surroundings that morning. It only rounded off to about six comments overall, and given that I do respond within the same comment form, some of those are mine--which sounds utterly pathetic. Regardless, I would hope it would be worth the look. However, you are my audience, and as always, you will be the judge of that.

Seven. The post that you are most proud of.
Some people did not quite understand where I was going with this particular post, but it is actually an unsent letter to someone, hopefully, far away, that I do not actually know. To Whom It May Concern regards someone lower than the dirt beneath my feet, who cannot let go of a past of which I was never a part. My mother was a wonderful person, but she was more gullible than she should have been. She let someone into her life years ago, who could not let go, and, with every form of social networking their small brains are capable of using, they have tried twice in about four years to contact me. This is basically my--excuse me--"fuck you" to them. Because I refuse to pay for anyone else's mistakes but my own. My mother may have bothered to let them in, but they will never be part of my life. When I wrote that post, it was literally thirty minutes after receiving the second message from them. Needless to say, I was livid. But it was the first time I took control of a situation. I advertised this post more than I have ever bothered to with any other. I made sure, if he continued to try and talk to me, he would see it. I am proud of it, because I felt like I took control of my life. Being as timid and nervous as I have been for most of my life, it was relieving to feel in control.

And on that dramatic note (that I did not plan, sorry)...

I pass it on to the following five people who have yet to be tagged, as far as I am aware:

1. Sher, at Beneath the Crystal Stars, is a fashion blogger, but her style is really cute. She also just got married, so be sure to send her best wishes!

2. The Badass Geek is a hilarious blogger that finds comedy wherever he turns and shares it with us all. His Tweets are worth a follow as well. (Mind you, he is crude, but that is my sense of humor most of the time.)

3. Jenny from Jenny Matlock ...Off My Tangent. I have emailed Jenny when I needed someone to talk to, I have been following her blog for awhile now, same as she has mine. She is a great blog-y friend to have, not to mention, she will make you laugh with her goofy wit and fall in love with her adorable grandchildren.

4. Jennifer from L'ananas. She is actually a school friend of mine who finally took to blogging and is a great writer. She is a fellow English major of mine and her love for language just about outweighs mine. Definitely worth a read.

5. Anna from Little Reminders of Love. This girl is so sweet and just loves the most adorable things and loves talking about it all. She is an au pair in Europe at the moment, so she is quite busy, but do stop by and take a look around. She usually remembers to blog something that will make you smile.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Forgetful Thursday

I hide behind my coffee cup, peering into it inquisitively, hoping its remains will predict the rest of my day for me.

But this is not traditional tea brewed from leaves. There is no shaman, or strange old woman with orphic eyes and lined hands; just me, and a few strangers in nearby chairs. And this is a manufactured, brewed, bland latté. Its caramel flavoring all my tongue could enjoy, when it was still in the cup. The morning is moving by slowly, and my mind is racing--either from the caffeine I precariously chugged hardly before reaching the table or just the mere turmoil of uncertainty.

I have forgotten something.

Somewhere could be studies left unattended, phone calls unmade, a fellow peer or professor left stranded in an office or in a dining hall waiting for a meeting of which will never come. The possibility of having forgot something rather important leaves me on the edge of my seat. One slip of my foot, and I almost slip out of the chair. I catch myself in time, though. I will more than likely embarrass myself later today. There is no reason to start my day off with shame.

I look into the cup one more time before sipping up the last bit of its contents. The drops of drink left dangling in the corner-creases form a smile.

In all of my rush to begin my day, I never bothered to lift my head out of the drudgery and just smile. Looming over my conscious all morning was a smile daring to never show.

I pull myself together, and my muscles seem more than willing to relax. I smile.

Maybe Thursdays aren't so bad, I think.

Maybe coffee is clairvoyant, after all.