Monday, July 4, 2011

The Potty-Mouthed Club

I walked down the usual stairs to find all three girls chatting about the usual and just as inconsequentially ecstatic as one can possibly be on an exhausting Sunday afternoon. The agenda was to celebrate a birthday, but, even more important than that, spend time together being girls. They are a bit older now, as am I (though I rank as the oldest by 3-7 years), but relating to one another, on some level, has never been a challenge. No matter the age of the woman, they will still complain about the same generalities and unfairness, they just might be more eloquent in their ability to express exactly what it is they hate and how much they hate it. Of course, with us, no matter how eloquent we might be in academic-face, it soon becomes lost and anything but eloquent in the way we squawk.

The ideas are all there, organized for proper communication; instead we giggle and speak at the same time, incoherently jabbering about men--big or small--school and our families. If the women of The View were a bit more relaxed, and possibly drunk, our display and their show might be frighteningly similar. But I will never understand why anyone would want to spend time watching The View whether the panel are sloshed or the viewer--it is terrible no matter the climate.

I had always wanted to be open and uncensored with these girls, but now that I could, it felt misplaced and almost too crude for comfort. I now understand why my educators would shake their heads at the language we used in the halls during my days in high school. None of it was ever fitting--we abused language as though it were a rite of passage, and one no one could take away from any of us. We had stopped believing in fairy tales, we knew our parents were paying us for every tooth we yanked out of our mouths (a disgusting form of selling our bodies for financial support, if anyone were to ask me--though no one does), and we wanted the high of being naughty without the consequences of anything severe.

It is the sensation one experiences upon their first taste of a curse--sweet like the forbidden fruit, but one that only felt forbidden because of what Mommy and Daddy said. It was something adults did, and when one reaches the incredibly awkward stage of teenager-hood, all one has are their insecurities and futile ways to prove themselves as adults to the older men and women who will never understand them.

With a mother who cringes at informalities, whether genuinely friendly or brazenly hostile, it is no wonder my younger friend would rather throw religious-caution to the wind and say, "To Hell with censorship!" She took quite kindly to the idea of "bitch" being a term of endearment, and the word "fuck" just another way to bare rebellion against her mother in the most repulsive of manners. These loaded terms are weapons against their imprisonment--one of which they will blame on their parents and that thing they are made to call a "home," but will later discover what they really hated, was the cruel joke life had been holding against them: their shameful hormones. No matter how hard parents may try, everything they are taught, a child will firmly oppose until life lends them too much disappointment and not enough love and self-taught wisdom. Experience does little for treating a yearning mind when the experience itself is just as small as the child living it.

And while my idea of a "fucking good time" and theirs are highly different, we are in the golden years of our lives, and they are living their lives with hands cradling the edge and peering over curiously, but with the fear of actually toppling down. I am just here to monitor their abuse of pizza, Cola and make sure they only like the idea behind using the word "fuck" and not the action that actually lies behind the term--I have to be a mindful friend and one willing to give advice.
"[I] am the oldest, after all." I have the most life experience out of all of them.

And like a drunk Joy Behar, the idea that I am their eyes and ears for what is outside of this town, is a frightening thought--maybe someone who refuses to encourage their intake altogether would be more suitable. And before all hope is lost, I will say, hopefully their earthly-savior will arrive before they come to the daunting realization that Kesha is not the perfect role-model for how to live a disease-free, Puritanical life like Mommy wants.


  1. Agreed. There is so much about our younger culture (of which you and I are both a part) that drives me insane. Interesting that you should mention how so many see Kesha as a role model...because this is one of my pet peeves as well. And excessive use of foul language is never appealing to either sex, no matter how 'cool' you think you are.

  2. I just want to thank you so much for this post. I could not agree more full heartily with you! People view the pop culture and thinks it symbolizes something idealistic and amazing. When in all reality, when you get sucked into a life like that, you quickly come to find your self caught in a web of inescapable burdens.

  3. I'm so glad that the comments I'm receiving are substantial ones. I really do love this post, and it kept me up and writing, so I would hope people would take notice.

    And it is very true. Right now, they're just mimicking what they see and what they feel to be right kinds of wrongs to do...

    I know, given time, they'll balance out. These girls really do have the best of values, it's just hidden beneath their own images of what they want to be and who they think they're supposed to be.

  4. Thank you for following. I adore your blog. It's awesome. :)

  5. am very glad u liked my ur work....ur writing is kind deep..likey:)..great going \m/

  6. Now, I cannot criticize the use of foul language. I myself have been known to be quite a potty-mouth at times. When I was younger, however, I paid the consequences for my mouth (generally a swat to the behind). It's because of those consequences, I understand that there is a time and a place for that sort of language. The problem with today's youth is that they don't suffer those consequences. And with the media/pop culture promoting the use of that sort of language, I'm afraid it's only going to get worse.

  7. Very true, I do remember, however, that when I was in middle school, the use of foul language was so common because we thought we were bigger than we were... As for high schoolers... It's unfortunately the same, and these kids are still stuck in the mindset that cursing is the best way to express themselves.

    The thing is, it's not something they do in front of their parents. It's behind the scenes. If they were to do in front of their parents, they definitely would suffer some sort of consequence.

    But I do agree with what you are saying. People are so relaxed in how they raise and discipline their kids that their behavior is monumentally getting worse.

  8. I think a lot of times people hide behind the words they say as a way of covering up their lack of ability to come up with a better, less profane way of saying it.

    Swearing is like spices. Using the right ones in the appropriate recipes is fine and good and sometimes necessary, but using too much just makes things taste awful.

    Great post.

  9. Really glad you liked it! :D I love your blog.

    Anyway, your analogy is awesome. I hope my other readers see it, as well.

  10. How incredibly true. The GHP students have invaded campus this week; every time I walk by a group of them, all they seem to use is profanity. The newfound freedom from Mom & Dad con them into thinking they can do (and say) anything they want in any given situation without consequences. There's a time and a place for it, in my opinion. Paraphrasing a favorite teacher of mine, these kids who use profanity repeatedly use it as a shock treatment to conceal the fact that they cannot communicate their point any better.

  11. Hey Jen! Sorry to hear you're having to deal with the GHP-ers... :{ I'm glad I'm not there for that. I've heard some stories about what goes on during those things, so I know that it's only going to get worse before it gets better.

    And you and Badass both have the right idea... These girls really don't try to communicate on a better level. They do decent enough when they have to, but most of the time they're just at a loss for words... And then the profanity kicks in...

  12. Hey, thanks for your comment :) Yes i've been following you for a while, i like what you write, and HOW you write.

    I really appreciate your comment.
    Speak soon xoxo

  13. Ah so true, and yet isn't that part of growing up? Learning when something is too much or overbearing? Granted, today's youth does seem to want to push the barrier even farther and harder, but then again, who's stopping them? Next to no one. I for one am just extremely grateful for my husband who is an excellent dad. He says "no" often and means what he says. He demands respect while earning it at the same time. Our daughter will be that much better off because of him. And if these friends of yours pay any attention to you and your advice (God willing) they will be better off too. :)

  14. adrielleroyale: Well, Idk that they will pay me much mind to the things I say about cursing and those indescretions--it's just forbidding them from rebelling, they might rebel against me, too. But I do hope they'd keep in mind the things I say.

    just a wallflower: Thank you. :)

  15. Hi Jennifer!
    Just droppin/poppin/hoppin by! :)

    I must say I really, really like your posting style! :) It's very insightful and well - it explains a lot of the emotions I've been feeling in the past. I guess I could never put it into words before.

    Hahas :)

  16. Haha, well, it's not that hard. :) I'm sure you could do it.

  17. oh, i feel so very old and wise when i see all the girls around me having the biggest crushes on justin bieber and having kesha as their role models:)

    what has happened to our younger generation??

  18. I wouldn't even know where to begin. >.<

  19. I think the truth in this is so clear, and I can attest to these words so much. Your writing is wonderful.


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