Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Psychosomatic

Everyone at the table is so eloquent and in-place. They all sip their drinks just so--their manner proves they have had years of experience outreaching just these few present glasses of sweet iced tea. Whatever I do, even something as normal as drinking, just seems inadequate.

They all laugh brightly and beautifully and I merely hide my face as I muster the bit of laughter I can. It is a day-to-day practice I am learning to perfect as the days stretch into weeks, the weeks into agonizing months. Agonizing months in a house of comfort yet an empty half of a once-whole standing person; a once-whole person lying next to a cold part of a bed.

The distance is becoming unbearable. Each mile feels like an eternity I will never see. A future too distant for even the psychic.

All I want is to be near him. It does not matter how often I remind myself this dreadfully dry summer will soon meets its end, I am lost without his comfort.

Misery is a predator slowly eating me alive.

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10 comments:

  1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Don't worry, before you know it you will be together with him again. In the meantime, try to find something productive and fun to do for yourself. :)

    ~TRA

    http://xtheredangelx.blogspot.com

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  2. "Misery is a predator slowly eating me alive."

    That is a great line...

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  3. I feel that a lot, I sorta over sentimental...I've been at the same school for 11 years,and only around 5 people (including myself) from my original class of 75ish...How I deal with that is by writing poetry, and trying to find an escape in books, till the nostalgia's suppressed...

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  4. you will manage it (:


    http://maybewewillbetogether.blogspot.com/

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  5. I know what you feel, at least part of it. It's very subjective what you've written can be interpreted in many ways. I am a loner, well a partial one at least and its nice to know there are people out there who understand what I feel!

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  6. I'm not entirely sure how this can be interpreted in many ways, honestly. This is merely a post reflecting how sad I am that I am currently three hours away from my boyfriend, and how much I miss him.

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  7. Hi Jennifer,

    I know how you feel. I have been there, too, although that was almost 25 years ago. Over the years - still together with the same girl - I have learned to cope with such situations, as they do occur from time to time. But, to be honest, it never becomes fun to be parted from the one you love.

    Don't let it 'eat' you, though.

    Life comes with ups and downs. Without those it would be dull and monotonous. It are the extremes that make you appreciate everything as a whole: the good things, the 'normal' things and even the bad things - if it is at all possible to put it in words like that. After all, it is just life.

    Hang in there,

    Ben

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  8. Thank you so much, Ben. It's definitely gotten a bit better since I posted this entry. I go through my good days and bad days.

    I'm enjoying being home and away from the stresses of school, but sometimes, I really miss being busy and having something to do and people to be with.

    I've been spending a lot of my days in the house--and sometimes with friends--but mostly just hanging around the house with my family, and I almost don't know what to do with myself during the summer anymore.

    I've grown so accustomed to constantly having running around to do and such when I'm at school, that when I'm without it, it's kind of like I'm just sitting on my hands waiting for something to happen. That, partnered with being away from Trey, can become a really depressing combination.

    Not fun at all. But I'm getting through it. :)

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