Monday, April 18, 2011

When I Grow Up

I sometimes wonder when my bright-eyed hopes for the future will seem too young for my age and too naive for reality. I wonder when negativity will be the only way out of where I am. The most inspiring messages can be put out so easily by those of higher stature. They live with a pretentious idea of their own self-worth following years of getting to where they are, coupled with contempt for whomever hopes to follow their own dreams. Bitter people with stiff, high shoulders and a head that hangs low are quick to impose their wisdom even if my path is different than theirs. Backs have been broken to pave ways for us, and eventually lips will stiffen when I attempt to walk down the same sidewalks they once did.

So I wonder: Is this the eventual progression of age and wisdom? I would like to hope not. I would like to hope that there are still happy people who have seen the world at its worst, and are willing to not turn me into a bitter person either. Cynicism is for the weak.

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25 comments:

  1. Hi Jennifer,

    I'm sure it is the progression of age, but NOT of wisdom. Everybody starts out having ideals and dreams. But then most of them find out that the road to the realization of these is not the easiest one to follow. And then they choose poorly ... and take the easy way.

    So choose wisely. Don't renounce your ideals and dreams.

    The Swedisch author Jonas Gardell wrote these words in one of his books about growing up: "When I was little I could do magic. I could do miracles, cure injuries and walk over water. I could travel through time and space, change the world and even create new worlds. When I was little I could do magic. That was before I was taught that I couldn’t do magic."

    That says it all.

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  2. I wouldn't say being cynical is for the weak - though I certainly understand your frustration with the nay sayers, downers and "wisdom" givers- rather it is that those who are cynical have been sorely hurt at one time or another. It's still no excuse, but... as an old friend of mine used to say, "hurting people hurt people (others)". I have found that if you can get into the reasoning behind their "advice" you will find where it's stemming from. And of course there are those who are just plain jerks too... anyway, keep your chin ujp. ;)

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  3. I think that cynicism and bitterness are the products of hurt which then breeds fear...when one dreams and hopes to change the world they are opening up. They're sharing themselves with the world and sometimes the world is harsh rejects the dreamer. The ones that become cynical are actually not 'realists' as they'd like to think, but are ones who have been hurt and are hiding behind walls they've put up to avoid being hurt again.

    Thus I agree with your sentiment that cynicism is for the weak. :)

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  4. I have been hurt plenty of times by the world, but I still believe that there is good in the world, because I have to to get by.

    Cynicism is weak.

    It's like I mentioned a few posts back about Anne Frank: http://bit.ly/gQ8Tk5

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  5. I like what adrielleroyale said--"hurting people hurt people."
    Someone I care about very, very much falls right into that category. She has been hurt terribly, and has become so hardened that sometimes I think she doesn't even see how much she hurts others. I have learned that I cannot discuss it with her but can only love her through it and try to help her see the joy in the little things in life.
    That's not to say I'm not cynical at times... but I certainly try not to be. It's always more joyful to see the good in the world.

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  6. Nicely said, Laena. Indeed, if someone is hurting, I am there for them. Cynicism is often more fleeting than just a true pessimistic nature. It is what it is. I will love even those who are hurt or raining on my parade, I just wish they'd be more self-aware of the damage they can cause.

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  7. Wisdom and age are two different things, and do not go completely hand in hand, hence, the young Genius, and the old fool.

    Regarding cynicism, I do agree that it is hurtful, but there is some truth in the words of cynical pessimists, exaggerated, but truth nontheless, as there is exaggerated truth in the words of optimists.

    Truth is neither positive, nor negitive, it is simply truth. It is one's perception of it that defines it as positve or negitive. It depends on one's personality. I am a pessimist, but i try to see through the eyes of the optimist as well. There, you find balance, and the world won't seem so bad.

    Advice from a young asian truthseeker

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  8. You are right! There's definitely some value to all things said and shared. I am guilty of being a cynic, but it's to what degree you let it affect your life. :)

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  9. Eear Jennifer,
    Life is a flux and you who have been hurt by the World, will be hurt again, time and again, but time and again you will experience miracles of love and opportunity. And your natural love of life and your caring nature will protect you from grinding cynicism.
    Five months ago I lost my husband and the future felt bleak for me and our young daughters. But unexpected miracles - including perversely, the recent earthquakes, have opened new doors for us: the only regret is that our Man is not here to reap the benefits with us. And so Life shifts for us all. I can tell you that reaching fifty is well worth the Journey. By the way I paricularly enjoy your well-crafted but spontaneous writing style.

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  10. I'm so happy to know your family is doing better. Sorry for your loss. <3

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  11. Have faith that no one can "turn you bitter", that choice is solely yours, just as choosing to be happy and see the good in the world. Keep that as long as you possibly can...I know I will try too. Know that there will always be someone else in the world trying to stay as positive as you.

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  12. Beautiful comment. Thank you. :)

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  13. I am glad that I am not the only person who feels this way!! The happy out look on life is often looked at as strange or "immature" but I see it a different way. But I believe that he wisest of people hold on to their hope for humanity, and always are optimistic, no matter how badly things appear to be. Just remember that anything is possible.

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  14. if that's belle as your default you're automatically my new best friend: i love belle! she's my favorite disney princess.

    and thank you for your kind words. :) i think i borderline offended some people, but sometimes you gotta' do that when expressing yourself.

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  15. Nice Posts. Really showing your Intellect
    -Menaka indrani

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  16. I love this quotation from Barbara Kingsolver:

    "Maybe the cynics are on top of the game, and maybe they're not. Maybe it doesn't cost anything to hope, and those of us who do will be able to live better, more honest lives as believers than we could as cynics."

    I feel the quotation somehow justifies my tendency to hope--a tendency that nobody should make us feel ashamed of!

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  17. Beautifully said. Thank you. :)

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  18. All too true, Kristina,
    Non cynics live longer too, as studys show...

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  19. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do (can be done) today.

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  20. It is your choice to keep beauty and joy in your soul in SPITE OF life as you grow older in years.

    Eternal youth of the spirit comes from waking up each day and making a conscious choice to be happy...even though the world may swirl around you in disarray. Make the choice every single day and you will find that you are living your life with happiness.

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  21. <3 Thank you. I'm making a promise to my followers, myself and to my loved ones that I will.

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  22. I am 24... not old enough but still too naive 4 reality. Sometimes people comment about me having a denial about reality... and that's so not true. I just choose to be more selective about the reality I filter. Who needs to withhold all the negativity!! I mean life is already tough enough to make it even more painfully hard. (but, i still urge drama in my life..)

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  23. Jennifer, this post reminds me a lot of myself and who I interact with daily. There are a lot of people out there that hold a grudge against the world yet show no signs of battling through that. I know full well without my experience in certain things I wouldn't be the person I am today. As much as they be painful I am so great full for them too.

    It is easier to be angry with the world, as it acts like a barrier. It is a great self defense mechanism to avoid why we really become bitter. It is only a path we all choose to follow without realising it at the time, and when the time breaks through that I suppose we reach some sort of happy within ourselves. I like to say that once you are feeling low, you can only go back up again. In some ways the low, as bad as it may feel at the time is most likely a good thing. It's a breakthrough point into deciding, is enough enough or is there more I can get out of this?

    I think whatever people throw at you, it is always good to smile at them. If someone yells, most of the time it is because they care. Whether it's because they care about you, or because they care about themselves. Over all everything is driven by a fear and it is down to self to decide whether to motivate it in the right way or not, we all have our own instincts in how to treat our day and how to become involved in others as well. Treat the 'mean' with kindness.

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  24. Beautifully said.

    Laughter is contagious; all you need is love. ;)

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