Friday, April 8, 2011
"Times Are Hard"
I made my way through the library, hardly amused by the lack of help I received from the librarians. It seems odd one can get a job without really having the skills anymore, I thought. It was possible I was just being unfair and ridiculous, but simply answering a question about why the computer would not log me into my email was not a hard one, not with the tech-boys standing right there to assist as well--all of them equally inattentive and blank. Walking out of the library, I spotted Flucas. He greeted me with his usual big smile and I did the same back. I have been noted for saying he always shows up--like a guardian angel--whenever I need something or I am not feeling like my whole self. I was happy to say I did not need him this time. For once, Flucas was just amongst some familiar faces I pass on campus everyday. While I never mind his caring disposition, not needing an arm around me is much better than needing one.
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart." Anne Frank, of all people, wrote that line. In the midst of tragedy and fear, she still saw the light in others--that same torch I mentioned some time ago as being my responsibility to likewise to share to others just as Flucas had shared with me on a day I truly needed it. And while I crave to be someone to whom my friends can turn, I also understand how bitterness spreads, and that I am just as much a contamination on humanity as any other person. My cynicism is widespread and my joy for life is often overshadowed by small things this illness holds onto: lack of sleep, an unfortunate menstrual cycle--it is all relative and contagious.
And it is most unfortunate to find one of the youngest and most prosperous nations in the world, at one time, my home, the United States of America, finds themselves in a battle of wits (and I use that term loosely). For all I say in defense of the administration--given the burden Obama was handed to carry from the last decade or so of presidents--not having a budget plan for a fiscal year already five or six months in now, is by far the worst I have seen with my active eye. And still, midnight tonight is the deadline, and if all else fails, we will fall into a "government shutdown" (the latest trend on every news-feed these days), and I can only hope it is but a mere shade of what many witnessed in the 90's--an inconvenience, and nothing more.
In voicing my political opinion, I usually do not, and this will be one of those usual times. Press waiting on the sidelines and the men within are optimistic something will come together. I will say this, and leave it alone: the majority needs to win, so America can at least try it their way. Semblance can be found in a child taking a test (which, by the way, I wholeheartedly hate education budget cuts): if the child puts something down to fill a blank space, they at least have something, and some points are better than none at all. I understand where arguments could triumph over my own statement of fact, but that is why politics is more complex than it is worth at times.
Today, with all of our comforts, full stomachs and roofs over our heads, we are an incredibly lucky people. Anyone capable of accessing this page is just as lucky as I, some may have even more than I could imagine. The dear girl huddled in an annex with more people than many of us would even consider living, found love and harmony even under the blinding darkness and forced serenity of her time--a time when she was victimized for her religious beliefs, her coincidence of birth and her name. The most I have felt victimized for are the small and petty bullying tactics found on a playground. I have not had, and I pray I never will, an entire community come after me simply because of something of birth I can not control.
She knew every day was a gift, no matter how it was spent. The winters are long here, and sometimes brutal in comparison to what we are used to feeling, but spring always follows, and all of us, sitting at home or in our offices, as of this moment, were lucky enough to survive it, and will more than likely be lucky enough to see and experience more in the morning. We see life renewed each year, and have for many years. We have been able to breathe the air and see life with fresh eyes--whether some have taken the opportunity or not is another story entirely, but it is there for the taking, just waiting.
My mother sat me down when I was just at the end of my elementary years and read with me through The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank. Her words and her passion for life were what inspired me in those days. In all honesty, I think part of it was a ploy--as I have stated before, my mother was desperate for me to continue reading and writing. Those developmental skills she helped me build were what helped me read through Miss Frank's diary the first time, and then several times afterward. I cried when she cried, and, more importantly, I smiled when she smiled. This girl, not much older than I at the time, had such a significant impact on my life, and it pains me to know I will never, in this lifetime, at least, be able to properly thank her for all she has given me.
Times are indeed hard, but they could be harder. And it is in remembering what people like Flucas, my loved ones and inspiring figureheads who have welcomed me into their past, like Anne Frank, have given me. It keeps me motivated to keep giving back to others, and to remember all I have. No one gets anywhere alone; we all start where our benefactors, ancestors and parents left off. I may have not been born into money, but I was born into love. I would rather die knowing I was loved and capable of loving, than know I had tons of worthless paper money sitting in my pockets before it all ended, and nothing more.
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