Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Painted Wings



It is amazing how my entire outlook on a week can change within just one night. And when I say this, I mean for the better. I have not had many teachers support me quite like the one I have now. Sure, family and friends are always there for me, but for someone who has seen my work and my dedication push so hard for me to succeed, it means more than any grandparents' kiss on the forehead. I would love very much to sit here and recap as much from last night as I can remember, however, I do not want to bore anyone or make it seem as though I am gloating. Let me just say this is, quite honestly, the first time a conversation with a teacher has begun with the infamous, "I need to see you after class," and ended with me grinning so hard it felt as though my face might explode. I could not tell you the last time I have ever had a good conversation with a teacher, particularly an English teacher. Too many of them had formed their own opinions about me--often prematurely--and, though they did try to hide it, were horrible liars. I had gotten used to the idea of not getting along with them. I have been known to say what is on my mind, and often without regard to if a teacher enjoys my negative views of Earnest Hemingway or if I think it is okay, given a reason, to serve someone a "knuckle-sandwich."

While my confidence in my writing and my success in the future is still not quite up to the confidence my English professor has in me, it is definitely a boost to hear that someone I really admire cares about how far I go in this field.

Until last night, I was starting to fall from the idea of concentrating in journalism; it has felt like an eternity since I left my high school's paper, and I desperately miss the atmosphere and the feeling of truly accomplishing something. I was in turmoil about my decision, until last night, when my professor showed me just how much it could benefit me by continuing to press forward with the idea I had fallen in love with two years ago. I have found my inspiration again in my writing and my reasoning for doing this. And as I sit here, I wonder how I could have ever lost it... I look at language just as poetically/romantically as I do my photography, and even when I spend a day with my Canon and no pencil in sight, I am still thinking, contemplating, titles and concepts for pictures and letting music lead the way--all of which require words.

I know wherever life takes me I will be writing, and it will not just be for my own personal gain. I cannot remember my life without some form of written language in it--whether I was reading it or writing it. I have worked too hard to not do whatever it takes to get where I want to be in life. It may very well be that I continue down this path of journalistic writing and decide to change later. However, I know my passion for language will never falter in the process. Especially when I have the support system, here at school and at home, counting on me and believing in me as much as they do.

I thank God for all of the wonderful people in my life. My spirits have been lifted, and, at this moment, I feel as though I could fly.

10 comments:

  1. BRAVO. That teacher saw what I have seen and admired in this blog since the first time I saw it. Picasso said, "I paint as I breathe." You are like that. This is good.

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  2. You are very talented, and I'm sure whatever you do, you'll be good at it. I love doing anything creative, and as most people are, anything in that area is fun to explore in, so I'm sure things will all work out for the best :)

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  3. I wish I knew who this "anonymous" is, but I thank you very much! I am glad that you notice this, too. Maybe one day I'll feel the same way as my friends do about my writing...

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  4. Courtney: Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. :)

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  5. I loved this. You do a good job of conveying your thoughts, and that's not easy. Many people can think and talk, but getting it on paper is a gift. It just seems to flow out of you. Keep it up.

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  6. Thank you so much. It means so much to have so many people complimenting me and rooting for me. :)

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  7. that is so wonderful! and i agree with anonymous! you are so talented! don't ever stop!

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  8. Thanks, Chelsea!!! I love the support!!!

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  9. So many people can't stick with one major for very long. I am proud of you for perservering. (And I don't like Earnest Hemmingway very much either. The Old Man and the Sea was torture in my english class last year.)

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  10. I'm glad someone agrees with me about Ernest Hemingway. I will admit I haven't tried reading much from him after sitting through The Old Man and the Sea and Death in the Afternoon, so there might be something there I like, but still...

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