Friday, January 15, 2010

Where can I fit in?

The third floor of the library stands as the land of forward thinking on campus. There, books on becoming a better teacher, child psychologist, student, public relations officer, politician, homosexual--yes, I found a book outlining the mechanics on how lesbianism "works"--and religious texts interpreter can all be found on the same shelves. Like one big, happy family. These things are what make college, college. The open-minded, experimental, "politically correct," underage, anti-religion, indie rock obsessed, voters of marijuana legalization run the campus and are the poster-children for MTV's next season of College Life. All the while, the open-hearted, believers of a Higher power, appreciators of music--not to say all indie is bad--Stephen Colbert fans are chastised for not being more liberal or even criticized when the discovery one's roommate used to have lesbian tendencies leaves one in a state of uncomfortable shock. (That, of which, is not a personal experience but a friend's unfortunate run-in between her roommate and RA--resident adviser.)

Correct me if I am wrong, but I would think the "open-minded" would understand the backgrounds of all people entering a new environment, thus treat their, sometimes, "small town" peers with a bit more respect. Though I fall into the latter category, I am far from prejudice against those outside of my own ideals. And still I find myself surrounded by students who stand against me and shake their heads in shame, because I would rather not be counted amongst the thousands before me who stood upon tables, a beer bottle in each hand and a cigarette falling out of my mouth. I was warned college can change students who once thought they stood strong for their political ideals and beliefs. I have yet to feel this pressure to conform to the books on the shelves. Instead, I just find myself fighting for some recognition and respect.

I may never be a martial arts doing, mace-slinging feminist; a political activist who firmly believes you either ride for Obama or die; a band geek who relies on pot during the school year, and band camp for pleasure; a Coexist player with enough bumper stickers to rival any Bible-thumper (though I do not disagree with love for everyone); or a homosexual trying to "find myself" in this crazy world. However, I will be the lover of all music, sitting quietly to myself, with a faith in God, lapsed in religion, who hates all politics, and knows how to have a good time without drowning myself in disposable products that will only blur my vision and memory for the night and make me wake-up questioning the location of my bra. If there ever is a book about people like me, I just hope one day it will make the shelves on the third floor. We deserve a place, too.

15 comments:

  1. College life isn't everything, and it's by no means a normal population sample. You're who you are and you're comfortable with it. That's all that matters. =)

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  2. Yeah, I know. It's the same thing as middle school and high school. But people here like to think life begins here.

    Life begins when you start making your own decision--which varies in age depending on the person...

    It's the people who make this time the center of their world that make me feel like the outcast.

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  3. It is refreshing to see someone who already knows who they are in college.

    Have a great weekend! :)

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  4. ...but if our simple tried-and-true beliefs become 3rd floor worthy, then would they be counter-cultural, as well?

    I'm trying to be open-minded about all kinds of things and... getting warmed up for some debate this spring.

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  5. i adore your blog!!
    and love your honesty!

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  6. Thanks so much, Chelsea! :D That means a lot to me! :D

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  7. You write in such a beautiful way, it's so lovely to read your thoughts.

    And it's truly wonderful how you're comfortable in your own skin and not afraid to tell it as it is. You are truly special and should not feel the need to comform to the social rules laid out by people around you just because they are the majority.

    Stay you! Maybe you could write a book on people like you:)

    xx

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  8. Your post made me think. Which is why I like visiting you. I think fitting in can be really difficult sometimes. Especially when you are a free-thinking intellectual as you are. Continue to know who you are and let others fit in with you.

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  9. Sher: Thanks so much! I love the encouragement. Thanks so much for the comments on me being me. It helps me stay positive. :)

    Jenny: Thanks! :) I don't always try to do such contemplative things... I just write whatever comes to me. I guess I think too much so it's reflected in my writing.

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  10. If you fit in with yourself, fitting in with others won't matter. I know what it's like to be different, not really in the social crowd, but in a way it's a good thing. Being unconnected makes it much easier to stay true to yourself and resist peer pressure. I successfully made it through high school without having sex, drinking, doing drugs, or breaking bones doing something stupid.

    Nice blog. :)

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  11. Yeah, same here. Glad I'm not the only one who got through it alright. Of course, I think the only thing that stopped me from breaking a bone was my fear of heights.

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  12. Wow. :) You said it, I've felt the exact same way about college and the double standard when it comes to "tolerance". It's very encouraging to know that one isn't alone in thinking this... :)

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  13. It's really nice to hear that you agree with me. ) Sometimes it is incredibly frustrating.

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