Saturday, January 23, 2010

All That Glitters Is Not Gold


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Rain and I used to have a nice relationship. As a child, I would run around in my rain boots and Big Bird rain coat. It was a fun game. Best part: if I ran inside quick enough to get some warm soup and get into some warm clothes, I would not have to worry with a runny nose which would later result in a cold. Rain and I were best friends. Until I met the storm. Thunder, lightning, heavy rain that hurt if it landed on me, scary winds daring enough to bring a tornado with it--all things petrifying to a child.

I do not necessarily have a problem with storms. In fact, for awhile (and still, sometimes), I was obsessed with the movie "Twister" and the idea of chasing tornadoes. But my desire to blast "Humans Being" by Van Halen in a Jeep Comanche and almost risk my neck getting the perfect shots and measurements for a tornado is just as alive as my ability to run as fast as Speedy Gonzales when the sky turns even the slightest shade of green. Fiction has no place in reality.

For the past two days, the only reality I feel I have been living is one of a social thunderstorm--a hurricane, to be more precise. I have felt my blood pressure rise to an unhealthy, unstable level so much so I could hear my own pulse in my ears and feel the constant drumming inside my head. I felt warm and shaken. All because of words. In movies, the idea of a little conflict can seem like a fun idea. While I still believe a bit of conflict does a person good, there is a such thing as avoidable contentions and necessary confrontation. And in these movies, not only is there a nice soundtrack during these scenes of torment, but it always concludes with a happy ending. However, I am still waiting for mine.

Without going into too much detail about my own life and those involved in the situation to which I am vaguely referring, I will say I have even less faith in people now than when this all began. People like to say a lot of things during the calm of a storm--they thrive on the build of dramatic effect, they do not thrive off of real results. It is a lazy attempt at stirring trouble, knowing someone will be there to fight the battle. I have no time for this "drama." When the storm finally comes, everyone else is left feeling the blows of the night, while the one who started it all is left standing, unmoved by the winds, and unlearned by their actions.

If shouting matches from a 30-foot distance and Facebook wars are what complete someone's day and give them their only story to tell someone later, I have no use for making conversation with them. Nor do I have the patience to bear witness to such pathetic, public displays of hatred either. All it does, is successfully bring me to my boiling point to where I am left the last one shouting and shouting at everyone. Problems will arise, however, if the people involved are not willing to confront one another, they do not deserve the first scream or the last word. Only those willing to rise to the occasion, confront their opponent, and find an end for the dispute deserve a monologue during the calm of the storm and after disaster strikes. Unfortunately for the former who inspired this post, they will probably never learn "fronts" never work once the person's insecurities are revealed.

9 comments:

  1. Rain Rain Go away, little Johnny wants to play. Rain rain go away, don't show your face again! - This poem doesn't suite with you (or me either) I too love playing in the rain :)

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  2. i love the quote that's your post title. it has been storming like crazy where i am too. your posts are always so insightful i so enjoy reading them!

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  3. Jennifer, as always your posts surprise me with their maturity and insight. Well written.

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  4. Jenny: Thanks so much. :D This was actually kinda of aggravating for me, because it's kind of a rant from the weekend, but I hope my later posts are a bit more cheery. Life has been great since Sunday. :D :P

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  5. I love rain :) Here, it's always snow though.. and it's poopy.

    But, girl, you need to cut the drama out of your life.. get away from people that love it, because they will NEVER get over it, no matter how old they get, trust me. I hate caddy escalations over no apparent reason. Ugh, some people.. they just need constant stimulation

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  6. Oh yeah, I definitely have cut it out. It's ridiculously frustrating. Thanks for the comment. :)

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  7. Hi Jennifer, I've some nasty conflict in my life recently. Worst of all it has nothing directly to do with me; I'm just caught in the middle. I guess the only good thing is that it sets boundaries. The bad thing is that it never really solves anything and simply generates more conflict.

    Hang on in there, girl!

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  8. Thanks for the comment. Sorry you're dealing with a similar situation. Most of the drama has passed, I am just now making sure I avoid the same confrontation in the future.

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